Saturday, April 19, 2014

I.just.can't.

"I believe in true love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe love conquers all. And that doesn't mean there's not gonna be hard days or difficult things to deal with, because there will be. But finding that person that does it for you and knowing, that person loves you back. It just makes everything so much easier."-Haley, OTH

Urm. *trying to hold back tears*

No. I just can't.

Be right back.



Oh, the feeelssssss.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Passenger.

 Woke up early today to a heavy heart.

 Its just one of those days..you know? Sigh.

 So I found myself finishing Tuesdays With Morrie....again. I never knew the book could move me in such a way. Maybe I just wish there was a 'Morrie' out there for me to teach me every Tuesday about life and death.

I bought the book way when I was too young to comprehend the meaning of it all. How can you be 18, and already wonder about how to live life until your death? I was 18, clueless, careless in love and all I wanted was the next thing every young girl wanted. I remember reading it back then and thinking it was an awful book. Borrring. Nexttttttt. Then again, back then my genre of reading was more on Chick-lit so I'm actually at awe in how I even managed to pick up this book at that age. But I've grown older, and wiser I hope. And apparently, this book was just what I needed.

Sidenote:

 Was browsing through Youtube, and found Boyce Avenue's version of  'Let Her Go'. Ergh. This song. The lyrics. I just cannot. Oh dear God, my heart is heavy again.


"Dreams come slow, and they go so fast." 

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Change. It always has to start somewhere, right?

I'm not a big fan of change. People coming and going, seasons transforming, direction of the wind changing. I am always the type of person who just doesn't understand why everything can't just be..constant.


  To be the best version of me.
  To be a better me.
  A stronger me.
  A more decisive me.
  A more determined me.
    For a deserving you.


And for that, I must change.

Like birds that spread their wings and migrate to survive when harsh conditions are around.

Head/Heart

I am in love.


 I first heard Christina Perri's 'Human' after seeing numerous people comment and review about her new album 'Head or Heart' on her Instagram. So i caved in...

 And it was magical. Then I tried listening to 'The Words' which is also...magical.

 I have fallen in love with Christina Perri. And to know that she wrote all these songs by herself. The album has its own chemistry with Perri, I assume. But I have somehow also found myself connected to her new album.

 Try listening to 'Be My Forever'. It features the ever-so-talented Ed Sheeran.

It'll make you giddy and happy all at the same time, even if you've just had your heart torn apart.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Before Sunrise

So I watched this movie last night called 'Before Sunrise' as recommended by Thought Catalog, my one and only source to the amusings of the heart and life itself.

Its a movie about two people (Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy), one American and the other French, so they meet in a train ride and they get to talking and he shares with her this one beautiful story about seeing his late grandmother in front of his yard when he was a young boy. They instantly have a connection, and they decide to stop in Vienna where Ethan Hawke or in the movie Jesse, has to catch a flight the next day to get back to the US from Vienna. 

So they spend this one whole night immersing themselves in the beauty of Vienna and its people. They even bumped into this poet that tells them to give him a word and he'll create a poem using it; for free. Only if they like it, then they can pay however they want to the poet. 

It seemed beautiful to me. To walk around town and suddenly run into a poet. I am a sucker for poets, in case you didn't know. I am amazed at how they can use just words to simply lift your day up and enlighten your mood. Like words dancing on a piece of paper just rhyming on about life, love. What's there not to love?

Another favorite part of the movie was when they were at a cafe, and they pretended to be on the phone with their friends, and their 'fake' talking to their friends about each other. To be so honest about one another when the other person is staring right at you is just...undescribable. I don't know if I could ever do that..

Their romance ends with her catching a train back to Paris and him flying back to the US. They promised they'd meet each other again after 6 months at the exact same date. 

I just found out that they don't meet up. That the stars didn't align for them. But apparently after 9 years, they meet again in Paris where he is married, with 2 kids. This is all continued in the sequel 'Before Sunset' which I will probably immerse myself in tonight. So more on that later. 

The movie doesn't have much action, if you're into that genre. But its more action of the words. I love their conversations. I secretly want to vicariously live through them. To meet someone in the most unexpected way, and to find him to be your best friend, and to discover that love in him..is amazing. And all kinds of beautiful.

Makes me feel like I should take a get-away with my best friend/soulmate to just..sit and talk and walk all day in a city we've never been to.

That'd seem nice. 

"If there's any kind of magic in this world..it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know it's almost impossible to succeed...but who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt." 

Monday, April 7, 2014

I remember you.

 24th March 2014 commemorates the day I finally graduate from Chiba University with a Bachelor in Applied Chemistry and Biotechnology. Sound fancy, huh? Trust me, it wasn't easy.



 I can still remember the first day I got to Japan. Enduring the cold, the constant battle of having to do everything on your own. But this 4 years has taught me nothing but determination. Determination in whatever you do. For its is true; that when you put your mind to something, nothing is impossible.

 I thank my family and friends for all the support, love, and encouragement. There have been numerous occasions where I have called up some of my friends to just de-stress and relieve myself from all the pressure. Everybody was always there when I needed them.

 But, there is someone who deserves more than just a thank you from me. My late Mama deserved to be here with me to celebrate. Sadly, she is not. She was the one who pushed me out of her womb and let me breathe the air of the world. The world is many things Mother, many you did not have time to teach me. But I am learning. As much as I dedicate my 4 years of hard work to you, I dedicate the rest of my experience after this to you also. For without you Mother, I would not be here. I miss you and I pray to see you once more again. I know you will be waiting for me. And when that time comes, we will talk about all the glorifying days of my student life, my career, my family, and many more like as if you were never really gone in the first place.

 Everything I do, I do it for you.

 Lately, it has started once again to feel hard without you around. Especially now. When we both need your guidance so much. But I know you are with us. Everyday. Every second. Every time. Close to our hearts. I hope you pray the best for us.


"They say have courage, and I'm trying to. "