Broken.

 If there's one thing people haven't figured out by now is that; I love Thought Catalog. I love how painfully real and honest the articles are. Oh what I'd give to be able to write as good as the people on Thought Catalog.

I was browsing through Thought Catalog a couple of days ago and stumbled upon this..heart-wrenchingly beautiful article called, "To Anyone Who Has Just Suffered A Heartbreak". Considering my situation, it seemed appropriate that I open and read it just for fun.

But the moment I started reading, I couldn't help but realize how much it connected so well with me. Like as if the words were coming out from the screen and speaking to me in a language that was in sync with the language of my heart.

This person has not only captured the moments of a heartbreak, but also the little details you encounter through it.

"You had your chance to make a difference. You’ve tried your best, but that doesn’t make it any easier, or alleviate the pain. Want to know a little secret? The purpose of pain is neither to make us sad, nor it is to give us big lessons on truths about love. It simply serves as a reminder."

My favorite part from the article would definitely be;

"A relationship needs work; it has to go through the test of time; one needs to fight for love — this, only you have the answer, and only the future can tell you whether you’re right or wrong."

And only the future can tell you whether you're right or wrong.

Fair/Unfair

 I am so tired.

 So tired of people wanting to make decisions for me. Let alone people who have already made their decisions, for me. That one's even worst.

 Do people not realize that I also have a say in everything?
 That I also have a right to defend myself?
     To say what I think is right and to decide what I think is appropriate for myself?

 I am so tired.

 I get A, and people say B. I do B, and then people tell me to go get C.

 Everybody is being really unfair. I get how life is unfair and all. But it is only unfair when our hands are tied behind our backs and our mouths are shut with duct tape. That is how the term, "Life is unfair" is supposed to be played out. When the inevitable happens.

 But my hands are not tied, and my mouth is free to speak on its own. I have a say, a right, a decision that I can stand up and fight for, and to have it taken away from my every existence is just..disappointing.

 And at the end of it, you expect me to be content with everything that you have decided?
 How is all of this; supposed to be fair to me?


Who made you king of anything, anyways?

"All my life, I've tried to make everybody happy while I just hurt and hide, waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide" 

 

And I whisper to the wind;

And I read, and read, and read over and over again the words you embedded in that book. The beautifully constructed sentences that touched every scar.

For where has that beautiful and gentle soul gone?

"Send him my love and prayers", I whisper to the wind.

For I am still here; waiting and hoping for the day he turns back and realizes that I was his beginning and his ending.

Smile.

"Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile, even though its breaking."-Nat King Cole

Here's an awesome cover to listen to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkT0N8f05WE

Betray?

What's the matter with us humans? When will we ever learn that once you lie, the truth will come biting back sooner or later.

I don't like to be lied to. Especially when it involves something and someone I love.

You didn't have to lie..
We could have just found something better..

And when I finally confronted you in the car, you stayed quiet without an explanation. Do you have any idea what you've done to us? What you've put me through? The guilt I have to live with? The pain I have to go through; because of your mistake?

Having to live with your lie, and you letting me to take the blame is just...dissapointing.

Why do I always end up being the victim?

When I am always the one who is willing to do everything for everyone.

...Why?

And The Mountains Echoed.

I finally got my hands on Khaled Hosseini's latest book, 'And The Mountains Echoed' when I went book hunting at the KL International Book Fair at PWTC with Zharif the other day.

And best part was, I got it for 20% off! Totally made my day.

After two days of intensive reading, I have finally finished and I was blown away just as I was after finishing his amazing 'A Thousand Splendid Suns'. Hosseini is an amazing storyteller. The way he develops his characters and the immensity of their stories is just pure genius.

Although I admit, I though that their were too many characters involved in the book to a state where it got a bit confusing to me. But nonetheless, it pulled through. All the waiting I did to get my hands on the book was worth every second.

I immediately started reading Deborah Rodriguez's 'The Little Coffee Shop of Kabul', which also is a page-turner. Can't wait to immerse myself more in it. It'd be exciting to see the antics of an American author write about Afghanistan.

On the other note, I am struggling. But I also think I am pulling through. Well for today that is. We'll see how I cope after a couple of days. *gulp*

And to that, I will go back to continue listening to Adele's 'Take It All' because, well, what else can you really do with a heartbreak?

"You've given up so easily, I thought you loved me more than this."