The center of the universe.

 I have an issue of constantly wanting to please everybody. I know, it's not healthy.

 I also have a social anxiety of constantly worrying what other people think. I know, not healthy either.

 For example, I am at constant war with myself almost everyday on even just deciding the little-est things such as what outfit to wear for the day, or how my hair should look, or what shoes won't look so mismatched with these jeans, etc. Its a constant battle. And it definitely isn't easy.

 I wonder constantly to as why I have this..complex? Can't really put a finger on why type of complex this is. I figure everyone else is probably battling the same issue as I am. But..why does that girl on the train look so cool with just her sweatpants and a t-shirt. I wouldn't be able to go out looking like that. Oh the horror of just thinking what other people would think of me. Sigh. People amaze me sometimes. They have such..guts. I really need to start looking for my own set of..guts. Haha

 Some people might say, "Chill lah, you're not the center of the world. Nobody has that much time to actually analyze you." Yes, yes, I know. I know I'm not the center of the world, or heck, the universe. I tend to over analyze everything. Like how I want those pair of pink denim jeans so badly, but don't have the guts to actually buy them because I know they'll just end up locked away in the cupboard because I will never have the guts to wear them. Sometimes, I actually end up buying these stuff. And then of course, later learn to regret it. I have confidence with myself, I do. But its not really about confidence anymore when in the end of the day you're swamped with a guilty feeling within you.

 I just think that it is just so hard to actually stand out. "Be yourself", they say. Easier said than done, huh?

 So if I were given the choice to have a superpower, I'd probably choose one which could make me control other people's thoughts. I am a control-freak by the way. So that would just be the icing to my cake. But this is the real world. Superpowers don't exist, love. You can't control people from thinking what they want to.

You can, however, control how it affects you.

 So maybe I'll start with that. Yes, I think I just will.