Sayonara spring break.

 I have spent the last days of my spring break cooped up in bed watching movies and TV shows all day long to only wake up to my stomach grumbling. If I were a person that was able to not succumb to hunger; I'd probably be in bed all day. Oh, what a life.

 I officially start my final year tomorrow. Wow, time flies by fast huh? I have such a mixed emotion about it. At one time I'm over the moon excited and at one time I just wanna close my eyes and wish I didn't have to deal with it :/

 Spring break was fun despite my short trip back home. Best part was being able to read a newly finished novel entitled 'Ekstasi Rumi'.

 To be honest I'm not really much of a Malay novel reader maybe because I have an image that Malay novels have the same genre of either a story about marriage by contract, or the typical girl goes to study overseas and finds a rich guy who will probably be a snob and then BOOM! They end up falling in love and getting married. (read: not interested)

 But this novel was different. Once I started reading, I couldn't stop!
 It has a soul of its own. And the fact that it involves Rumi means so much more to me. Go read Elif Shafak's Forty Rules of Love and you will understand why. You will learn to love Rumi as much as I have learned to love him. He has that special charismatic aura in him which is perfectly portrayed in the novel by the way.

 So, the novel was about so many things at the same time. But in the end it all came back to; perspective. It relates to the whole seeing the glass half empty analogy. That's the thing with the novel or shall I say the writing itself. Every sentence you read gets you thinking. I especially loved one sentence; 'Terperangkap dalam terperangkap'. The narrator was talking about how he was stuck in between two situations. Something in the likes of..inception?

'Kadang-kala tak semua benda boleh dibaiki atau dihidupkan semula. Ada yang lebih baik ditinggalkan begitu sahaja; tidak perlu diperbetulkan semula. Hanya kita sahaja yang perlu keberanian untuk berubah atau terus duduk dalam ketakutan.' -Ekstasi Rumi

 This is a special part of the novel that I also happened to fall in love with. He was talking about the past and how we're always  haunted by our past that it traps you so hard you're not even able to move. But in the end its up to you to do what you have to do.  Of course, I instantly related to it so much more that the moment I read it, some strings in my heart were tugged.

 As for characters; I love the fact that the author never really gave a name to the narrator. It gives that whole mysterious thing I especially find interesting in a novel. And plus; I loved guessing if the author is actually telling the story of himself or not through the character. I have asked about this to the author, but he has refused to tell me anything. Pfft  =.=
 However, my favorite character had to be Maria. She was portrayed as the victim of her father's own actions as she was betrayed by the man she loved when he gave her away to prostitute. Tragic, no?

 Overall, a wonderful novel well written and definitely worth reading.

 I loved the book and I love it more knowing the fact that I happen to be dating the author. *grin*

She will be loved.

"The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along."

-Rumi

The art of sadness.

 

Ugh.
Emotions. Always needed to be felt. Always wanting to be felt.
So fussy, so complicated.


Ugh.

Blind-sighted.

Oh, Hello.

...why do I always have this awkward feeling every time I start to write again? Blegh.

It's been 3 months since the last time I've posted anything. Well its not like I haven't tried; I have. Its just I end up clicking the 'X' button on the right corner before actually pressing the Publish button.

This past week has been quite an emotional ride. It's like I'm battling against my own emotions; which in the end just tires me out and gets me all grumpy and not exactly fun to be with. I pity the boyfriend the most. *sigh*

So anyways, I saw something while on the train home today which really got me thinking.

I saw a blind lady with her husband.

Her husband was ushering her to one of the empty seats for her to sit at.

I wasn't staring, I swear. And it wasn't like I haven't seen situations like that before; but somehow this time it felt so different. Like I said, I have been a roller coaster of emotions this past week. It got me thinking to stuff like how I'm actually really lucky to be able to see. And I don:t mean like the whole be able to see the world and all its glory stuff but to actually be able to see the people you love. I mean imagining waking up one day and not being able to see your parents? Not being able to see your boyfriend/girlfriend? Not being able to see your cat, even! It actually got me thinking to a point where I actually think I would be able to deal with not being able to see the person because of a loss more than to know that the person you love is just sitting a mere inches next to you and to not be able to see their smile, the squint in their eyes when they laugh, the different expressions they make when their talking...that just really got to me.

Okay so I admit, the thought of it actually teared me up for a while but I didn't want to be seen as the crazy girl who randomly cried in the LRT; so I managed to hold it together.

And thus here I am blogging while eating a box of strawberry flavored Pocky with a new sense of thankfulness for the life that I have been given. I am forever thankful. I am thankful to God for giving me the chance to experience something not exactly everybody is able to do. Its really good to be reminded, sometimes.

Maybe He just wants me to remember to never forget to appreciate everything, and everyone.

So 2013 resolution number one;

make sure everyone around me knows how much I appreciate their presence in my life. 

...so please don't hang up on me if I happen to randomly call you up and scream out 'I love you' :)